Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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