Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
