The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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