when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's like heaven, but drunker
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
