He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
