I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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