1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
