Don't you send me to vm
there's paper in my vomit.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
