im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
