$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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