stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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