smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
third nipple confirmed
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
last night I used snow as a chaser
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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