i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
