1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize