spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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