maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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