thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
