So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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