Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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