I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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