Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
