Yo dont text me then not text me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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