nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
