Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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