Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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