I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
