So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
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Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!