Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
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the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.