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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.

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• (408): View more from California

  When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

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• (631): View more from New York

  we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  My bed is full of blood and feathers

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.

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• (874): View more from

  I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!

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• (914): View more from New York

  i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.

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