I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
