so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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