need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
