Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
