Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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