I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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