if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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