everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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