Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
