got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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