Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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