my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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