her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
