I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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