I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
