I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
