Your mouth is God's brothel.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
