Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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