he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
