So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
