A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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