So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize