Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
