As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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