Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
