i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize