Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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