Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
