We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
