Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
