what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We got so high we made milksteak
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
