i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
