PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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