I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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