It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
