so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
