Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
