he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
